Incident Report #1201817

Report Entered: 09/20/2012 13:42:12

            Witnesses: Professor Plum, Miss Scarlet, and myself (Mr. Green)

            Offenders: Unknown




On Thursday September 20, 2012, Colonel Mustard of 3 Crocodile Street, New York City was found dead in an old mansion in Connecticut after having spent most of the night surrounded by friends. At the time the incident occurred, I was off duty, my free time being consumed by a planned get together with Professor Plum, Miss Scarlet, and Colonel Mustard himself. The night’s festivities included cocktails and various appetizers and snacks, the alcohol of which could have potentially been the reasoning behind the events that transpired.

We four gathered together in the mansion at approximately 6:00 pm. I arrived on scene a little behind schedule at about 6:20 pm, when I knocked on the heavy double doors the other three were all already inside. For near on four hours, until 10:30 pm give or take a few minutes, our group of friends did little else other than consuming the aforementioned cocktails and food while we informed one another of our individual activities of recent times. Everyone in the room appeared to be having a good time.

It was roughly 11:00 pm when discussions became a bit more uncomfortable to bear. A heated argument began between Colonel Mustard and Professor Plum about the importance of preserving crocodile and alligator wildlife. Colonel Mustard fervently disagreed with the professor’s views of putting a stop to crocodile hunting. I was completely uninterested in the conversation and, as I learned from my interview with Miss Scarlet later that night, she too had no thoughts invested in the subject.

At midnight on the hour, the lights went out as if on some sort of cue. The entire room was pitch black, so dark that I could not even see my own hand in front of my face. I expected the lights to come back on momentarily, but instead I suddenly heard a gunshot that I never would have expected. Following the gunshot there was a loud thump and I knew that the sound I’d heard had indicated that a body had fallen to the floor, but I did not know who it had been. The lights came back on a minute later, my eyes darted to the figure on the floor that was, to my horror, my best friend lying in a pool of his own blood. As I was unable to interview myself, I quickly called the incident in and the immediately proceeded to interview the other two witnesses left in the room.

Miss Scarlet claimed through stutters and crying that Colonel Mustard’s death had “completely caught her off guard” and that “he shouldn’t have had to die so young”. I was unable to get much else out of her as we were both very broken up about the loss of our dear friend, but I did later hear her murmur that “he never should have hidden the truth from him”. Who is this ‘him’ and what truth was Colonel Mustard hiding? It was at that moment that I began to suspect Professor Plum was far more likely to be behind this than Miss Scarlet. When I interviewed Professor Plum, however, he seemed genuinely confused as to what had just happened. A person can’t fake that level of ignorance; it was as if he had not even been present when the incident occurred though I know for a fact that he was sitting in the chair right to the left of my own.

What truly happened to Colonel Mustard is still unknown, investigations are in progress. But if it was really Professor Plum who did it, then where did he acquire a gun? Upon the conclusion of this report, I fully intend to check my things and make sure that my hidden work revolver is still where I left it… I’ve seen the man take things that were not his before, but to commit theft and then murder a close friend, I wouldn’t think that he had it in him.


The writer is Mr. Green, a close friend to Colonel Mustard and the two witnesses.

The audience is Green’s fellow police officers who are just hearing about the incident that occurred.

The context is the suspected murder of Colonel Mustard and the evidence and all known information that could potentially shed some light on what really happened at the scene of the shooting.

The purpose is to try to figure out who killed Colonel Mustard and to inform the police officers what is at present known about the murder.


In order to produce the police report, I had to do some research into the genre mainly so that I could see how to go about setting up the structure of a real police report. Once I knew the way it was supposed to be formatted, I described the situation how I would imagine a police officer would, which is assumed to be formal, proper, detailed, and straightforward. A police officer filing a report isn’t going to dance around the subject, try to make the murder sound interesting, or try to tell the story in a mystery story style manner. No, a police officer would give the facts clearly and one after another, keeping it simple and straight to the point. So that was how my knowledge of the genre contributed to my production of the police report.


Mr. Green is bringing forth an argument that claims a few things. The first of which is him trying to say, in not so many words, that he did not commit the murder. Obviously he doesn’t want to sound defensive so he is unable to outright say it, and he cannot claim that he knows it had to have either been Plum or Scarlet because he knows for himself that he did not do it, and that makes things complicated for him. The point of his argument, on a whole, is to inform. He is trying to inform his audience (the police officers) of all the facts that he knows for sure so that they are able to decide for themselves what really happened in the mansion before and during the murder.